I took some time today to look at what the cause of the major anxiety I've been feeling of late is. I found a few things there... The first is that the incident at work yesterday has been building for awhile. I can see now that I've been feeling uneasy about the person for some time now, well since this project started, and this has been showing up as anxiety. Just this realization by itself makes me feel a lot calmer. Anxiety for me is really an indication that something isn't right in my world somehow.
The other major thing I found is that I still have a high tolerance for anxiety, meaning that I can ignore it for a long time. Getting to the point I was on Monday where it threatens to be full-on panic doesn't happen all at once. It builds up over time. As I ignore it, it gets worse. This can be said of other emotions as well. I am getting better at seeing myself, paying attention to what I feel and knowing what I want. But, I still have an ability to avoid it for quite some mine. For me this needs I need to check-in with myself more often. This is a hard thing to think about.
I need to look at what is going on with me more intentionally. I suspect that the more I do this intentionally, the easier and more natural it will become. For now, discipline. Anyone want to help me with this?
Danielle what you are feeling is quite normal, majority of us are like pressure cookers we let little things build and build and build then when our pressure cooker get's full we blow, it can be the smallest or a large thing that happens in the end we have a full blown blow up, but as this all is building that is what you feel is the anxiety anxiousness etc. you my dear are in the majority of people, alot of us stuff things and don't deal with them right away, and think about it if we did we would be analyzing and discussing every little feeling we have which is not necessarly healthy to live in a negative state daily, keep baby stepping you have come a long way and have learnt alot about yourself and how to deal with things.
ReplyDelete