I was talking to someone today and telling her some of my story. Every time I do this I get so emotional about it. With her, I wasn't scared about her reaction because I know she has been there too and she would understand. I guess it is just hard. It's hard stuff to talk about. It's hard stuff to let others be a part of.
This last year and a bit have been hard, period. There have been good moments, but a lot of my life has been tied up with dealing with depression and its causes, and getting to understand myself, my tendencies and the fallacies I have been believing for so long. When I share my story with people it evokes so many of those emotions again and again. It leaves me feeling in a funk, distracted and down. I keep sharing though because I know that it is hard for others to share also. I also know that I need the support of people around me and they can't read my mind. The difficult things in our lives are the things we most need to share and the things that are so often the ones that we don't.
I hope that someday it will not be so hard.
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