In a documentary I watched a few years ago Clara Hughes described her experience with depression as a difference between connection and disconnection. This really struck a chord with me.
For me when things are good it seems like my life flows, there is connection and rhythym. It feels to me like a drum circle. Then there is depression. The noise then is more akin to a toddler using the pots to drum. But maybe not even that because that process is still fun for the toddler. The noise is probablu better described as nails on a chalk board. Unpleasant and makes you cringe.
These days I experience both of these states. It amazes me though how long I lived with the noise only.
Tuesday 23 September 2014
Tuesday 9 September 2014
Sadness and renewal
I found out this morning that a colleague passed away last week. This news makes me sad. This was a woman who helped me a lot when things were so bad with me. We would go for coffee and she listened to me and cared. She offered books and websites that had helped her in her life. I didn't always agree with her thoughts or viewpoints, but there was no denying she was a kind soul. It makes me sad also that her grandson, who is probably around 4 will not have a chance to really know his grandmother.
Whenever someone dies at what seems to be too young, it strikes me that life is fragile. I remember someone once saying to me that we all assume we have time, but in reality lots of people don't make it to old age. I've known enough people that haven't made it there that it certainly makes me think.
So, what do I do with this? It always reminds me that I need to live my own life the best way I can because you never really know what will happen. This is my mission anyhow, but if I can use a sad event to motivate me again, then some good comes out of it. I will once again look at really is important to me and evaluate if my life is honouring those things, or if it is caught up in something else that I don't care so much about, but feel stuck in. This to me is what is important.
Living according to what I think is important is the only way I can think of to make sure that I make the most of this one life I have.
Whenever someone dies at what seems to be too young, it strikes me that life is fragile. I remember someone once saying to me that we all assume we have time, but in reality lots of people don't make it to old age. I've known enough people that haven't made it there that it certainly makes me think.
So, what do I do with this? It always reminds me that I need to live my own life the best way I can because you never really know what will happen. This is my mission anyhow, but if I can use a sad event to motivate me again, then some good comes out of it. I will once again look at really is important to me and evaluate if my life is honouring those things, or if it is caught up in something else that I don't care so much about, but feel stuck in. This to me is what is important.
Living according to what I think is important is the only way I can think of to make sure that I make the most of this one life I have.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)