What really matters

What really matters in life?  And how do we live lives that honour those things?  In the professional circles I move in, it would be easy to believe that work is the only thing that matters and that other things are secondary.  So many people I have come across have the attitude that the work you do is what defines you.  The attitude of always going for the next promotion, professional and career growth being the only things to strive for.  (Note that this is not everyone, but it is the prevailing attitude).

At my work right now there is a lot of change going on and it is certainly taking its toll on a number of people.  People I have worked with for a number of years, whom I know to be smart, considerate, thoughtful and resilient, basically all the things you would want in a good leader, are starting to crack.  The stress is getting to them, and as one person put it, there is no light at the end of the tunnel for the pressure she is facing.

There is a lot of change going on in my own team as well.  Different bosses, different priorities, different tasks and different expectations.  A work environment that takes  a different way of thinking and some resiliency to manage it.  Or does it?

I've been thinking a lot lately about what really matters in life.  In the last couple of years I have been in a steady state in my recovery from depression.  A number of small ups and downs, but nothing too drastic.  I'm glad for this and yet it has left me feeling restless.  It has left me thinking a lot about what I want from this short life.  I spent a number of years existing, permanently suspended in survival mode.  Then I spent the better part of the  last 5 years getting better.  Getting to a place where depression and recovery weren't the main parts of my life.  And so now, I wonder what is the next phase?

Someone I know, in his mid-50's, is right now very sick with cancer, and the news just keeps getting worse.  I am so sad for him.  There is not a lot I can do for him, but it does, once again remind me that things happen in life that we are not expecting.  We can plan our lives all we want, but life doesn't always unfold the way we expect.  We may not have the time to do all the things we think.

So, where does that leave me now?  Well, one thing is that I am reminded again that work is not what defines me.  I like my job well enough, but it is not the be all, end all for me.  This makes it easier to handle all of the change going on.  Hopefully, it will also help me not to take on all of the stress, worry and negativity around me.  This is always a challenge for me, but if I can find a way to remind myself of what really matters, it should be easier.

And what about the next phase?  I find that I have a pretty good handle on what it is that I value and what I want, now I need to evaluate the aspects of my life and ensure that all of them are congruent with who I am and who I want to be.  If not, I need to make changes.  I have worked hard to come to this  place of recovery that I am in.  It is time to reap the benefits.  I need to listen to the restless feeling and pay attention to how I live my life.