Courage

In a book I am currently reading there is a part that talks about people we admire.  It says that in general the characteristics we most admire in other people are characteristics we have in ourselves that we haven't yet developed.  As we develop the ones we admire then we will pick new people or characteristics to admire and the cycle goes on.

As I considered this, it rang true in my life.  I have always admired people, and women in particular, who live their lives according to their own rules, generally just on the edge of acceptability.  For me these have generally been fictional people, Dr. Quinn in Medicine Women, Lorelai Gilmore in Gilmore Girls, Grace in Grace Under Fire, Jane in Jane of Lantern Hill.  All of these women have pushed the boundaries of their time and lived their lives the way they needed to.

Underneath it all I think I knew I also wanted to do this, but was too scared.  I was looking for inspiration and permission to allow me to break out of the life I was in, the life where I felt stuck, and live differently.  I've always felt like I didn't really belong in the standard way of living, like I was always different, but I know I didn't act that way.  Now, as I learn more about myself I know that I am different from the "norm", whatever that i,s and to live without depression means living according to my own rules.  I need to keep my courage going and not be afraid to be different, not be afraid to do what I need to do for my own happiness.

I continue to admire the same fictional characters but I am learning to really use them as inspiration instead of being detached from that admiration.  As I figure out what my own rules are then I will be able to live by them and may find the people I admire changing.  This is ok with me.

How about you?  Does this ring true for you?  Please share if you feel comfortable.