Monday 2 May 2011

A vent

For this blog to be a true reflection of learning to live with depression, the bad times should be reflected also.  Frankly tonight I am tired right out.  Physically tired from the physio and mentally tired.  Tired of feeling like everything is hard, tired of feeling like I constantly have to pay better attention to my life, tired of dealing with depression, tired of being tired.  I want it to be all better, I want to stop having to deal with things. 
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6 comments:

  1. Anonymous2 May 2011 at 20:53

    Dear Danielle,
    I am very familiar with the feeling of being TIRED.
    Constantly battling an eating disorder makes one very TIRED.
    It will get better, give yourself a break and allow yourself to feel tired.

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  2. Anonymous2 May 2011 at 21:07

    Aw, Danielle, I would lift your burden from your shoulders for as long as you needed if I could. I wish I could. But it is not to be. All I can offer you is my support. It is the best I can do. Take as much or as little as you want. But know this, it is always there. And if you just need to scream and yell, that’s okay too. Just don’t throw any heavy objects. I bleed. ;-)

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  3. Anonymous2 May 2011 at 21:43

    Hey, it's okay to be tired. That's one of the things I've worked on a lot - not beating myself up about being sad or anxious or depressed. Not getting distressed about being distressed. It is what it is, it's all me, I accept me, and it's all okay the way it is. Rinse and repeat. :-)
    Nitin

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  4. Danielle3 May 2011 at 19:10

    Thanks Anon 1 and Nitin (boy that seems weird, so you prefer Nitin or Nik from me?). It is nice to hear other peoples stories. It's encouraging for me also to know that I am not alone and that other people have found ways to manage. Also the rinse and repeat made me laugh, thanks.

    Anon 2 - your comment made me think. It's not really that I even want anyone to take the burden away. I really am on a mission to be me, to be the real me, bad days and all. How I felt yesterday was real and true, even though it was hard. In a lot of ways, that is a success in itself.

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  5. Anonymous3 May 2011 at 21:36

    True, Danielle. But from my perspective it is awfully hard to watch and not desperately want to take all the sorrow and pain away. Yet, at the same time, I recognize this is your struggle; a struggle you alone must bear. I'm glad that you are feeling every ragged emotion because, not how much it cuts, it tells you that you are alive and it's honest and true. Every day is a success, Danielle. And with every success you grow as a person. I wonder what kind of flower you'll be when you blossom?

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  6. Danielle3 May 2011 at 22:05

    I want to be a tulip, or a lily, or a hibiscus...

    ReplyDelete

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