The whole process of learning to live with depression has been about learning to be myself. So much of what leads me to depression and anxiety is trying to be who I think I should be, instead of being who I am. Through this process I took the lid off Pandora's box. It seems so far like there is no bottom to the box. I have been very successful at burying things I don't want to deal with. At first the things coming out of the box were hard, challenging and painful. Slowly I am dealing with those and letting them out into the world. Now there are other things coming out of the box. Things that are more fundamentally who I am. Not so much painful, but tough. Dilemma's rather than problems.
This still requires a lot of energy, but it is not so painful. It is sad because I feel like I have lost so much by not discovering myself before now, but I can't change that.
Risk too much and you might lose it all. Risk too little and you might miss it all. In between these stone towers lie all the choices you’ll ever make. We all regret choices made and opportunities lost, Danielle; how things might’ve been different “if only.” But when you’re staring out the rear-view mirror too long you start missing the road ahead. The thing I love most about life is I don’t know what’s going to happen. Isn’t that wonderful? It’s un-set. You can shape it, explore it, and live it. No matter what has happened in the past, tomorrow is always a new day. Remember, Danielle, the one evil that was left when Pandora’s Box was closed: HOPE. Hope was left for a reason. Though hard winds may scour your cheeks and the road become ill-defined and rough, hang on to your hope with both hands. Don’t ever lose it.
ReplyDeleteBe true to yourself; be ever so happy.
No you cannot change the past you must focus on the now and the future and forge ahead, I know you will get there and remember baby steps. Chin up you are doing great.
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