The small things

I didn't realize how much depression was affecting everything in my life.  I can see it now as things start to change.  The other day I was doing crossword puzzles with my mum.  Now this always ends up as a silly and hilarious process (not sure how, but every time).  I was laughing and adding to the goofiness and just enjoying myself.  Then I noticed myself enjoying myself.  When I was in the depths of the depression I could laugh at a joke, but in the next instant I was feeling down and crappy again and not really enjoying the moment.  I have cooked myself a couple of very tasty meals this week and again have noticed that they are tasty and that I really like them.  Before, eating was more of a chore than a pleasure. 

These are just a couple of examples, but it affected everything.  I was never happy, I didn't enjoy anything, or if I did it was very very fleeting happiness.  I am glad that I am starting to be able to enjoy the little things in life.  This is where life is, in the everyday moments and I was miserable through all of them.