I've always put a lot of pressure on myself to live a certain kind of life; a fact that I knew but didn't really internalize until recently. The thing is, it wasn't really about what I wanted, but more about what I thought was expected. The biggest part of that in the last few years was being career focussed. I graduated with an MBA (Masters in Business Administration) in 2002 and since then, for the most part have felt like I need to worry about the next career move. Get a promotion, move up the food chain etc... This attitude is really my perception of most people that have an MBA. But, the thing is, it is not me (and maybe not others either). I got caught up in it for awhile. It wasn't all bad because it led me to the job I have today, which I enjoy and may not have gotten without the work I did beforehand. But now, it is time to get out of that hamster wheel.
Truth is I rather look for the next job move only when I feel ready for a new challenge, not just because the opportunity is there. I am starting to really look at my life and think about what I want, not what my perception of expectations are. Who was I trying to please anyhow? Who was looking out for me? No one, which is one big cause of the depression for me.
Only I can know what I really want, and only I can make choices to get to that point. I don't want to focus on career for the sake of focussing on career anymore. I want to pick and choose what is right for me. When the time is right for something different I will know.
So, what is important to me? Stay tuned. I'm still figuring that out.
This is a bit premature because you’re still searching for what is right for you. It’s a bit like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, don’t you think? I suspect you have some thoughts on that, Danielle, and have already started moving toward it.
ReplyDeleteSelf-awareness is both scary and rewarding, but whatever you do, don't shy away from the search for "you." Be strong, be sure, be true. The search can be its own reward: but more than that, you won’t know what you can be and what life can give you if you don’t go after it.
There is only one yardstick to measure the quality of your life: are you successful at being you? (Whatever that might entail.) Be the best you possible. Be true to yourself. Above all else, believe in you. At the end of the day, it is “your” life. Make it a good one!