I have 2 topics floating around in my head today and can't decide which to write about so I shall write about both.
The first...
I am amazed at the stories I have been hearing since I told people that I am dealing with depression. For instance the couple of post-partum stories, or the attempted suicide, or the son of someone who drank too much while on anti-depressants and was on the rail of a second floor balcony, or the suicide of the son of someone. That's just the direct stories. So many people are touched by mental health challenges, either themselves or someone they know. There is so much pain, and courage and determination and hope in these stories and I am grateful to those who have shared. For me sharing my story is so helpful, I hope that in some small way I can help others share their stories as well.
The second is a slightly lighter topic...
Vocabulary. What words do we use when describing depression, or mental health. I have heard so many, mental illness is one. This one is descriptive and in so many ways accurate. I have heard a lot of people suffering from depression or battling depression. These do not accurately how I view this. For me it is a journey with depression. Honestly I am trying to learn to live with it, or deal with it, or manage my life in a way that makes it easier. I don't want to feel like my life is a battle or that I have to win. To me this brings up an image of only being ok when I no longer feel depressed or am "cured". The thing is there is no guarantee this will happen. For some people it is short-lived, for others it is chronic. At this point, I don't know where I fit.
I heard someone describe it all as mental fitness. This is my favourite image so far. To me in conjures up an idea that we need to pay attention to our mental well-being and figure out the things we need to do to be healthy. I think the parallels to physical fitness are many. We all have to figure out what kind of exercise we look, can commit to doing, makes us feel good, isn't too tiring etc... All of these things can apply to the things we do for our mental fitness as well.
I like the idea of mental fitness. For one thing it is a continuum. There isn't necessarily a clear line across which a person is "ill" or "well". For me it's been a question of being more or less one or the other, more or less of the time, and being more or less distressed about it.
ReplyDeleteI also like the focus on acceptance. Battling myself just takes too much energy. There isn't some illness out there separate from the person.
I've found that helping others is an awesome way to feel better and promote healing, too.
Nitin
I have been reading your blog since you started and I have been thinking about posting a comment. I spent many years in hospital suffereing from anorexia. It is a terrible illness that ravages your mind as well as your body.
ReplyDeleteEventually I travelled out of province to seek treatment. I have been slowly recovering. Anorexia did steal a decade of my life.
Nitin - I like the thought of not fighting ourselves. That's a good way to explain it.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous - thanks for sharing. I know who you are, but will respect your anonymity. My hope is that by sharing we can all help each other. I hope that you are managing to stay healthy.