Funny where we draw the line between what we tell others and what we keep to ourselves. That line for me has certainly changed in the last few months. A few months ago all you would have seen from me was a happy face and unless you knew me well or looked really hard, you wouldn't have known that anything was wrong. (Right in the middle of the crash you would have as I couldn't hide it anymore). Now, I write this blog and tell you all that I have depression and that it is a struggle for me. Amazing how different that is, and how helpful that is for me.
And yet, there is still things that are private. This is healthy I truly believe. Some of the reasons I have a tendency to hide are very personal and I am not ready to share with the world. I'm not sure that I ever will be ready, and that's ok. I write a journal that is brutally honest, to the point that I am sure it would hurt others, but it's stuff I need to get out. The thing is there are many avenues to the healing process and I am working on finding the ones that work for me.
I always wanted to ask you: what happened to bury you up to your neck in grief? But it was never my place to ask. I know that one day you’ll reveal these things to someone, someone you trust without reservation. I can’t say if that will free your spirit or not, but it seems to me an awful heavy burden to bear alone.
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting way of putting that, buried up to your neck in grief. I'd never really thought of things that way, but it seems appropriate in some ways. The truth is I am letting off some of the burden as I go through this process. It is hard and good all at the same time.
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