Things are hard for me these days. I am no longer feeling depressed. However I am not ok either. Depression for me is paralyzing. It meant not dealing with anything, it meant existing. And so I try to learn how to live.
Learning to live these days is hard and I'm struggling. I am sad, and overwhelmed and unsure of what to do. I don't even know how to love myself, how to treat myself right. How do I learn something like that? My life feels so unsettled and lonely. I feel like I am starting over, and yet it feels like a process I should have gone through in my teens, not now. How do I explain to people that I am trying to change things for me? How do I explain that the life I had was one based on a lot of unhealthy things? Lots of questions and few answers today.
Everything in life is a gamble. You just have to have faith. Sometimes you get hurt. Sometimes you brush yourself off and try again tomorrow. Sometimes someone catches you. Sometimes you catch yourself. And sometimes you soar. What makes life interesting is the unpredictability of it all; it's what makes each day different and unset.
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