And then comes the dawn

It always seems to be that at the end of the hard times there is some reprieve.  I guess it makes sense actually when I think about it.  Usually the hard times are when there are hard things to deal with.  These are still generally things from the past, although often tangled up with things from the present.  Most often it comes when I either stop paying attention to myself or when I have a hard time letting myself be human.  But, the hard times are also reminders that things are still in flux and the process is ongoing.  I hope at some point the process will be less intense, but for now it is what it is.  

When dealing with the hard times I also end up dealing with some of the trauma, struggles or challenges that I face.  This leads to new understandings and new ways of seeing the world.  This part is good.  Sometimes I get tired of the process still seeming so hard, I want to be better.  In so many ways I am, but in a lot of ways I am only at the beginning.  When things aren't so hard it is a good time to take a step back and see that I am working through things and have come a long way.  Now to try to remember that in the middle of the hard times.

For now, I will take the feeling better times and know that I need to take advantage of them because there will be more hard times as I know there are still things to work through.  All in good time.