Making sense of it all

Sometimes it seems that everything in my life is clicking and at other times like nothing is.  The other day a friend asked me if I have any vacation plans coming up.  I said no.  For the first time since I can remember that thought didn't cause me to panic.  I realized that I am pretty contented with my life at the moment, most of the time.  I love that thought.  Staying home, traveling, visiting friends or whatever all seems to be ok with me.  I love to travel and experience the world, but I can see now that so much of my need to get away all the time was driven by being so unhappy in my life.  Getting away like that was an opportunity to let it all go and really be in the moment.  Now I am often in the moment and not anxious or worried about things and so the desperate push to find a way to get into the moment isn't there so much.

Amazing how treating the underlying disorder can affect so many things.