Supporting and being supported

I've been trying to figure out for a bit today how to write about my day yesterday.  It brought me face to face with my own growth and strength and acceptance of my life and so it seems important to write about, at least it is important for me to sort through it.

I went for a coffee with a lady who is struggling very hard with her sexuality and really seems to have no one to talk to.  Her situation is much more complicated than mine was in that she is married (to a man) and has a son, but is pretty sure she is gay.  

Anyhow, talking to her made me realize how non-traumatic my own acceptance of being gay has been.  Really, accepting that I had depression and would need medications to sort that out was much harder.  Once I really could see that I am gay, I haven't really had any trouble accepting it or knowing it to be true.  I never had a sense that this was a problem, only that I wanted to be sure.  I also really never contemplated that I had a lot to lose by coming out.

The last bit speaks of two things.  The first, I believe, is that I was ready to be myself and stop hiding and so was able to be open about what was going on.  The second speaks to the people I have surrounded myself with.  I wasn't really concerned about losing friends or support networks.  There were a few people I was more nervous to tell than others, but even their reactions have been just fine.

I can see how much I have come to understand about what I need to be happy.  I need to feel free to be me, free express myself, my joys and sorrows, my successes, failures and challenges etc... I need to be able to tell my story when it is relevant and feel like it is ok to have this story.

It's funny in a way, because after I met up with her, I went to visit some other ladies who are a couple and have been out for a long time.  I wanted to talk to them to be supported in my journey.  It is so nice for me to talk to people who are settled in their lives and settled about being gay.  I can see that for now, because it is new, it feels big and important.  While it will always be a part of who I am I like to see that it is really not the big deal it feels at the beginning.  It is so nice to have a sense that my own acceptance of it is normal and moving onward and upward is really all there is left to do.