When I saw the news today of yet another NHL player dead, through an apparent suicide, it made me want to write. Hockey players are public figures and so we hear about their actions. I wonder how many everyday people are also at the end of their rope, trying suicide, contemplating it? I know that I have been at the edge of my rope and close to ready to end it all. It is a scary and lonely place to be. Thankfully for me, some part of me remembered that there are people out there who care about me, even if I was struggling with really feeling it at that moment.
I wonder perhaps if we all need to take it on ourselves to pay more attention to others. We so often assume that if people are having a hard time they will reach out for help. My experience with depression has shown me that so often that is exactly when we are unable to reach out. I know I would have loved for someone to ask me what was going on. I felt invisible and yet was not able to make myself visible. I needed other people to be strong for me. I am not really sure what the solution to all this is, but talking about our struggles, finding safe places to be ourselves, totally and completely, letting the people who care about us be strong for us sometimes, letting people know that we don't hold any stigma on mental illness and they can talk, letting people know they are not invisible. I suspect how to do all of this, and whatever else will help, will be unique to each person, but it needs to be done.
It makes me so sad to know that people are hurting so much and are so out of hope that they end it all. I know, especially now, that there is hope. Even on my rough days now, I know that things will be better and that there is hope and love in the world. My wish is that this blog will in some small way help others know that also.
What scares me is that Belak is actually the fourth athlete to take his life in the last two months. Two former baseball players did too. And it is well known that media sensationalism of suicides only causes more of them. I completely understand why the hockey media is talking about enforcers and how that role might be leading to this end, but they really are on the wrong page entirely. They need to be talking about how to help people in that position.
ReplyDeleteAnd the reaction to Belak's death should provide a clue as to why that is so important. Everyone was stunned. Nobody had any idea that he was in this state. Well, hiding is the easiest thing one can do. Drawing that person out is not. And that, Danielle, is why blogs like yours are important.
Thanks Keith for your comments. It amazes me how much my little blog keep people talking. I started it for totally different reasons, to help myself, but I believe that sharing my story is making a difference to others as well and I'm glad for that.
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