One of the effects of depression is to impair your ability to problem solve. Often for me this ended up looking like I was creating drama in my life, or sometimes severe anxiety about things that are, or were, for the most part minor. It also was a lot of reactions to situations that were way out of proportion with what was actually going on. It means that so often you feel like the rational part of your brain has no place in dealing with things, and you can't reason yourself out of anything. While I was in the midst of it I didn't really recognize that anything was wrong, and yet I wondered why everything seemed so hard and so dramatic. I guess I have my explanation. Depression makes life hard, it makes it seem impossible to get out of the current situation, whatever that is.
It is nice now to see myself reacting to situations in proportion to what is happening. I can see that my rational brain is working and I have pretty much no anxiety - except when it is called for and then I would call it being nervous, not massive anxiety. Amazing that life can be so easy, that most problems require little or no energy to solve. I am in awe still at how this works and so glad to be able to experience it. Funny what we think is "normal" when we don't know any better.
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