There are some things in life that are particularly difficult to do. Telling people that you are dealing with major depression is one. Telling those same people a few months later that you are gay is harder, at it can be.
I have learned that there are topics in life that are difficult for some people to deal with or to process. There are many reasons for this, and I won't even start to speculate. The thing is this put me in a tough place with some people. When I was telling people these 2 things about me, it was generally because I felt weak and that I needed support. But with some people it is me that needs to be strong and this is hard for me sometimes as I still have many days when I need to lean on other people and don't feel particularly strong. I need to be able to explain myself and also to have patience that the people I am telling care about me and will come around. This has been a challenge for sure. I value my relationships though and want to wait it out and see if we can't come to an understanding and move on. I truly hope this will happen. I want people to accept me for who I am and I need to give the same respect to the people in my life. This means accepting who they are and what they believe to be true. And if that means I need to be the strong one for awhile then I will find ways to do it.
I know this is coming at a strange time, Danielle, but I am thrilled that you have found the strength to speak this openly. It really means that you are coming to terms with yourself; and that is nothing but absolutely wonderful to see. I really do wish you could've said this to me, just the once, as it really would've helped me understand what was going on with you. I really did (do) want that. I really did (do) want to be supportive. But I couldn't put the pieces together. Well, be that as it may, be yourself -- it's a good thing. Enjoy your journey of self-discovery; I know it will be well worth it. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThanks anon. I couldn't say these things to you as I was working very hard at putting the pieces together for myself, and (forgive if this comes out the wrong way) didn't have the strength to worry if other people were putting them together.
ReplyDeleteWell, if you want to hang with someone who knows perfectly well her problems are miniscule and yours need a lot more support, let me know!
ReplyDeleteThanks Cindy. Not that I think other peoples problems are miniscule... Starting to be able to put mine is perspective though so that is good.
ReplyDeletePffft! It was not your fault, Danielle; it was mine. I hope the road becomes easier for you. For all that you are doing for yourself -- respect.
ReplyDelete