Risk

Tonight at group therapy we were talking about risk taking.  Changing habits, changing coping mechanisms, changing patterns is scary.  Even when we know that the way we do things isn't healthy.

It dawned on me tonight how much this blog has helped me learn to take some of those risks.  When I started writing it I really wanted to find a way to articulate what was going on with me.  The only way to do that is to be honest and take some risks.  It was so hard to tell people about the blog, to let people see how much I was struggling.  I am so grateful to have done it though.  There are so many things that I have either found a way through, or risked telling people at all.  This has been huge in my process of healing.

I can see when I go to group that talking about a number of things doesn't feel risky to me, anymore.  I have worked hard to be ok with so many things about myself and so telling them isn't so bad.  Exploring some of my actions and reactions in a group setting is hard, but not as hard as it once would have been.