Acceptance

I truly believe that for a lot of people depression does a number on self-esteem.  Or maybe it is the other way around, depression is a result of low self-esteem.  I am not an expert, but I do know my own experience.  For a long time I didn't really know what it meant to have self-esteem.  I thought mine was really good, but I can see now that the things about myself I thought highly of were not sustainable.  My whole self-worth was linked to achievements instead of really believing that who I am is ok.

Acceptance of who I am, all of me, has been a slow process, but it is coming.  For me acceptance has looked like:

• knowing that I am human and will make mistakes
• knowing that perfection is not a good goal
• accepting that I am worthy of care and attention from me and from others
• knowing that I can ask for help and is a more self-loving thing to do than being independent and isolated
• knowing that I can love and be loved
• not trying to twist myself around to meet someone else's approval, but knowing that if who I am doesn't work then the situation is not right.

These things may sound basic, but for me they have been a big struggle and I suspect something I will need to pay attention to for the rest of my life.