I was talking to a co-worker today and the fact that I have been dealing with depression came out. It was not big deal for me. I was shocked. I just said it, without even really thinking about it. It was relevant to whatever it was that we were talking about and so I said it.
I like that telling her was no big deal. I wasn't worried about what she would say or what the fall out would be. It's a fact of life for me right now and I am becoming more ok with that.
It's not the only thing. As I have been spending time over the last nearly 1.5 year getting to know myself, I have also come to accept a lot of things about me. A lot of things that I thought were terrible and things you just didn't show before. Never show weakness, never give anyone a chance to find something to criticize. Be perfect all the time... ahhhhh.... As I write this, I feel the tension and anxiety that I used to feel. But I feel it in a "holy I had some troubles" kind of way. Not in a judging way, but in a compassionate and grateful that things have changed kind of way.
Amazing really how dealing with the depression and working on some things can change perceptions. I am still me, but in becoming more comfortable with so many parts of me, things are easier to manage, to handle. Life is so much easier when I don't constantly feel like I have to watch what I am saying in case I show some side of me that could be considered weak.
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