I was thinking today while I was walking home how easy it used to seem to go and do things. I always seemed to have lots of energy. The thing is that anxiety and the need to hide who you are no matter what, provide a lot of energy. But it's a little bit manic in the way it pushes you forward all the time. Eventually I crashed and burned because this is not a sustainable way to live.
So now what? Where do I find my energy now? What drives me? What makes me go and do? I'm still working on these things as I'm not really sure. All the process of getting to know myself and what makes me tick. I often feel tired these days, but sometimes it feels a lot like I just don't know where to look to get the energy or to find things that energize me. Exercise, eating right and sleeping are all good starts, but they don't provide the drive to do things. Still looking for what provides that for me.
I find doing things I enjoy helps keep my energy up. Exercise is good, but if you don't enjoy what you're doing, I found it adds to the problem. That's how I got into hiking. I call it walking meditation. Being away from everything (computer, tv, distractions) I'm able to see things more clearly and work through problems that have cropped up.
ReplyDelete