We've all had advice to stay away from people we don't like. We've all had people tell us to weed out the negative people from our lives. We've all had people tell us to only be around those people that make us feel good about ourselves. For most parts of our lives this is good advice. But what do you do when that is not an option?
What do you do when you can't get the toxic person out of your life? How do you deal with someone you don't like, respect or trust? What do you do when you are expected to work things out? How is that even possible? How do you let the past bad behaviour go? How do you believe it when they tell you they will be different, even when your own experience tells you otherwise?
This is my world right now. It's so hard on me. I'm angry because I feel thrown into this position and I feel like others are expecting me to solve something I didn't create and really isn't mine to solve. Why is it my problem when the other person is the one acting badly? Why should I keep making an effort when they haven't shown any sort of willingness to even meet me half way? Why should I keep banging my head against the wall? I have made an effort and I am getting the silent treatment back. It seems unfair and unkind to me to keep trying when they will not try. And it seems like everyone is so busy trying to stay neutral that no one will be on my side, even though I am the one getting bashed about for no good reason.
How do I handle this? I don't know. I know though that this kind of situation is really hard on my mental health. It brings up all sorts of past trauma. It makes it hard for me to focus on the good things in my life. And so my friends and readers, please tell me you are on my side. Tell me you still like me and love me. Tell me that you believe me when I say I didn't do anything wrong and this other person is the one being terrible. Because right now, I need to know there are people on my side, people who have my back.
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