Relating

When I hear about a suicide it is hard not to relate. Especially when the person is reported to have had severe depression. This evenings social media sights are filled with news of Robin Williams death, apparently by suicide.

The thing is I do relate. I relate to the darkness and pain that makes irrational ideas seem rational. I relate to the hopelessness of that place where there doesn't seem to be any way out and you know you just can't stand it for another minute. I relate to the despair that leads to thinking of the only way you can see to end the pain.

Because, the thing is, I was one decision away from taking my own life. I was so stuck in a horrible place and I had no idea how to make it end. I didn't know where to turn, how to make things better. Thankfully in that horrible dark moment I remembered the people that love me and I knew I couldn't do that to them.

Things really can get better. That day was 6.5 years ago. It has taken time and a lot of hard work, but things really are very different now. There are so many great moments that I would have missed out on. So many amazing conversations, so much connecting with other people. And now when things get hard I do know where to turn, how to make things better.

And so, dear readers and friends, don't be alone. Call someone who loves you. Call someone who cares, and that includes me. I have learned that hope exists even when you can't see it for yourself. That is the time to let other people be strong for you and hold onto that hope.