After I wrote the last post I was struggling. I felt like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. Like my skin wasn't big enough, like my apartment wasn't big enough, like I needed more space to deal with the emotion in me. So I went for a walk.
When I started I was walking fast, clenching my fists and feeling reckless. I walked by the liquor store and thought how satisfying it would be to go in and smash a few things and steal a few things. Reckless.
It took 45 minutes and about 20 blocks before I started to feel better. Amazing what kind of energy that amount of tough emotion can generate.
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