Sad and grateful

It seems to be a week of sad things, hard things, going on with people I know and some with people I don't.  A friend of a friend was involuntarily admitted to the psychiatric ward as part of her journey with depression.   February 7th is a day of remembering people gone too young for two people I know.  Two RCMP were shot in a small town in Alberta today.  Sad things.

I will add a bit of hope to today, at least in my life.  I am feeling grateful for my life today.  Grateful to be alive.  Grateful that there are people out there who voluntarily choose dangerous jobs.  I am also grateful that my own journey with depression hasn't landed me in the hospital and that the first medication I tried has worked.  My doctor increased the dosage last week and again it seems to be working with minimal side effects.

Life is sometimes messy and hard and sad.  I feel sad today for all the things that are going on.  But, and this is the other bit of hope, I FEEL something.  My goal in this whole journey is to feel connected to my life.  That means feeling sad when things are sad, acknowledging that sometimes things are hard.  But also knowing that feeling these things is a part of being alive.  I'll take sad and grateful as feelings any day over numb.