Dark places

So far 2014 has been a challenging one for me, especially related to my mental health. Earlier this year it was so bad I had to take a break from work...really and life. It's a bit better now.

The biggest thing I have noticed is how easy it has been for me to end up in dark places. Those kinds of places that no one wants to talk about. It is painful and frightening in those places. And, when I am there it is so easy for me to be convinced that I don't know how to get out, that I don't deserve to get out, and things will never get better. Rationally I know that none of this is true, but it doesn't change the emotions in those places.

Often I end up in those places because I see the world in a certain way. I am not able to ignore, or act is if, the madness in the world. It has a huge effect on. One piece of news that hits too close to home and I am done for days. One conflict that is truly difficult for me and a bunch of my previous trauma is triggered. It seems that there has been so much negativity around me that I am taking on. I haven't been able to keep my balance in it.

I have been dealing with these places, for the most part, alone. I've been too scared to let people help me. That's part of the trick. Dark places are isolating as well. And so, I am trying to reach out about these things. Dark places are hard and scary, but I think it wouldn't be quite so bad if there were people there to lend a hand, or a shoulder or an ear. That might be just the trick to get of the mindset that I don't know how to get out of the dark place.