This year I am enjoying Christmas time more than I have in as long as I can remember. Certainly as an adult. I've been trying to figure out what it is that is making things better. The answer is varied likely but there is one thing that stands out. I am enjoying Christmas my own way. I've finally stopped putting pressure on myself to enjoy it the way other people do, and feeling guilty because I wasn't.
My mum and my sister love Christmas. They love the decorations, the tree, the lights etc... I love this about them. The thing is I kept trying to be like them and I am not. I have never enjoyed decorating, so I don't. I don't put up lights either. I've stopped feeling like there is something wrong with me about this. Maybe some day I'll want to, but for now, I don't. And I don't feel like I am missing out.
I am doing some things this year that I do enjoy (a bit of a follow-up to last year). I am wearing antlers to work. I am working on creative ways to give gifts. As you can imagine, I also hate shopping. I am wrapping my gifts today, instead of waiting until next week. I am not worrying so much if the gifts are perfect. I believe the people they are for will like them.
I'm giving myself a break about not sending Christmas cards. Not that I ever have sent them, but I believe this is the first time I don't feel like I am not doing something I should.
The thing is, I am exploring ways that I can celebrate Christmas that I like. Over time this is bound to change. At least for now, I am finding ways to honour who I am and do the things that feed me.
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