Emotion

I was reading someone else's blog this evening and she was talking about Suicide Prevention Week this week.  I wrote a comment on her blog to tell my story when I was so very close to it myself.  Thinking about that day and the hopelessness, despair and isolation I felt still has the power to make me cry.  It also makes me so sad to know what I did next.  I went to work and carried on with my day like nothing had happened. I didn't tell anyone.  I didn't know how to talk about it, I didn't know how to reach out for help.  I only knew how to survive and barely at that.

I started this blog to help myself.  It has turned into one of my greatest tools in my journey.  Something happened recently that made it hard for me to write because I don't want to write about what happened in a public forum.  I really missed being able to write a post when something was churning around in my brain.  I am thankful to be able to write again, about other things.

I know this blog helps me.  I hope that it helps others as I truly believe talking about difficult things can only help.  The truth is though, even if this blog doesn't help anyone else, it keeps me going.

And so, I talk.  I talk about depression, suicide, medications, hard days and good days. It's important.  Of this I am sure.