Too much

Tonight I am tired, emotionally tired that is.  This comes not from dealing with the hard, sad, painful stuff, but from when I push myself too hard to be upbeat, cheerful and a-ok.  Especially when that is not how I feel.  I didn't realize I was doing that today, but looking back I certainly was.  This evening I shall not pretend.  I'm tired out.  I feel down and sad.  This, however, is usually a good time to start looking at some of the tough stuff as I am more receptive to it.